04: Self-Aware is the New Self-Care:
Navigating the Overlap Between Menopause and Stress
EP. 04
Are you tired of feeling overwhelmed by the pressures of modern womanhood? Women are often told that we can “have it all”, but the truth is that constantly chasing perfection leads to burnout and feelings of self-doubt and inadequacy.
As we approach midlife, the lines between stress and perimenopausal symptoms really start to blur, leaving us feeling lost and totally unsure of which factors are truly influencing our well-being.
In this episode, I’m exposing the hidden challenges faced by women trying to balance competing priorities and societal expectations. Together, we’ll debunk the myth of busyness as a symbol of success and embrace the transformative power of self-awareness as the foundation of genuine self-care.
Listen to the full episode:
The Silent Struggle: Juggling the Pressures of Modern Womanhood
Recently, while traveling, I overheard a conversation between two women that struck a chord. They were discussing their overwhelming schedules—work, travel, family, and a slew of other commitments. Despite their fatigue, they wore their busyness like a badge of honor, proudly declaring it was the price of being a "badass boss b*tch."
As I listened, I couldn't ignore the sense of resignation in their voices. In our modern world, where we're pressured to juggle countless roles and responsibilities, it's easy to feel overwhelmed. We're expected to seamlessly transition between partner, parent, friend, and professional, all while maintaining an image of perfection. But amidst this whirlwind of expectations, we often forget to prioritize ourselves and acknowledge our own limitations.
Surviving vs Thriving
In a recent chat with one of my patients, something she said really hit me hard: “I don't even know who I am anymore, and I feel forgotten.” This woman is a high achieving, resilient, wonderful human being. She has a great job, she's been a great mother, and she has a wonderfully supportive partner. Yet she still felt like she was just existing and going through the motions. Despite her efforts to take better care of herself, she still felt worn out and overlooked. This conversation got me thinking about the difference between merely surviving and truly thriving–a journey many of us have to navigate, especially as we reach a certain age and face new challenges.
It can be really dark and isolating when you are just surviving and not feeling like you're thriving. And I know that firsthand. In 2015, my husband suffered a heart attack, catapulting me into a whirlwind of responsibilities where I tried to be everything to everyone. The result? Burnout. It took me years to acknowledge the toll this was taking on me, despite my initial attempts to attribute it to my thyroid. (Thankfully, my primary care doctor gently pointed out the truth).
In early 2019, I took a pivotal step towards self-care by enrolling in a coaching program led by my friend, Dr. Ali Novitsky. Her guidance helped me realize the importance of prioritizing myself amidst life's chaos. Although I initially felt overwhelmed by the program's demands, Dr. Novitsky's encouragement and firmness helped me carve out time for genuine self-care.
By making small but consistent changes, like blocking time on my calendar for myself each morning, I began to see a remarkable difference in my overall well-being. On the days I prioritized self-care, I felt more clear-headed and energized, a stark contrast to the days where I neglected it.
This journey from survival to thriving taught me a valuable lesson: genuine self-care is not selfish; it's essential for our physical, mental, and emotional health. And it all begins with acknowledging our own needs and making ourselves a priority.
The Importance of Self-Awareness in Self-Care
Being self-aware is your first step towards self-care. The reason this is important is because the symptoms of stress and the symptoms of perimenopause overlap, making it challenging to distinguish one from the other. You might experience fatigue, mood swings, dry skin, hair loss, decreased libido, weight gain—the list goes on. But until you start becoming self-aware, you’ll never know which of these symptoms are due to stress and which ones are signals of perimenopause.
I once had a patient who experienced a panic attack and was convinced it was her thyroid acting up. However, her lab results were normal, prompting a deeper exploration into her symptoms. It turned out she was working long hours without breaks, driven by fear of being replaced. We worked together to address her stress, eventually leading to her taking a much-needed leave of absence. It's not always easy to discern the root cause, but with self-awareness, we can begin to untangle the complexities and pave a path towards wellness.
Key Takeaways:
Competing priorities and societal expectations can reduce our self-awareness.
Busyness is often seen as a badge of honor, but it's essential to avoid falling into that trap.
Symptoms of stress and menopause can overlap, leading to misinterpretation.
Taking time to pause, reflect, and assess our symptoms and time management is crucial for genuine self-care. It's not just about manicures or wine nights; it's about creating space for clarity and understanding in our lives, helping both personal well-being and effective communication with healthcare providers.